Translation by Shibatabread www.shibatabread.com
First Annual Gaki No Tsukai Ya Arahende
Win $1,000
or die trying
"KiKi" Curry Tournament !!
Alright then
We're back again
We've done Coffee, Tea, and Cigarette competitions
Downtown
Hitoshi Matsumoto
Masatoshi Hamada
This will be our fourth tournament
The theme is "Curry"
This time we actually get to eat
Make sure to get it right early
Cocorico
Shozo Endo
Naoki Tanaka
otherwise, you won't have a chance because you're so full
Hosei Yamasaki
What do you all think ?
Have you noticed how much instant curry we have here ?
This won't be easy !
Have you had any of these ?
I'd say about a half...
Seriously ?
Yes, at least half of these
I've had this "Makanai Curry" before
I've never seen that one before !
So you've tried these before...
Like this "Kukure" and "LEE Curry"
But I don't know this one...
"Ginza Curry"
It's made by Ginza and Shiseido
I see
By the way, are you guys hungry ?
I gotta admit, I'm not really hungry...
I forgot about the taping today and
I just had curry for lunch !
So, I'm pretty full right now
I forgot about this too and
I went to the dentist who gave me a shot of Novocaine
We've heard enough from you...
So you're saying you had curry for lunch,
even though we were taping this show today ??
What a crazy story ?!
You're such an idiot !
It's the same rules as usual
"Kiki Curry" Rule Taste one of the curries blindfolded And then correctly identify it from the 20 choices
Step onto the podium if you think you know the answer
If it's not the one you tried, throw the package in the trash
What if you don't get it right ?
I hate this part !
We're all very aware by now but,
let me point out there are some Indians hanging around the set
They're here !!
Downtown Presents: Gaki No Tsukai Ya Arahende
Sponsor
Matsumoto Kiyoshi
Endo claims he doesn't eat much instant curry,
Assigned Curry for Endo
Good Old Time Curry
but here, he's having "Good Old Time Curry"
Endo, memorize the flavor
Assigned Curry
"Good Old Time Curry"
Yes, indeed
You need to eat the curry, not just the rice
The sweet flavor points me to...
This "Kukure Curry - Mild"
Currently tasting
"Kukure Curry - Mild"
Damn, I have no idea
Really ?
Are you serious ?
You serious ?
I'd say this is the toughest series yet
I've already forgotten the flavor
I don't have a clue right now
This curry, "Kukure Curry - Mild"
is NOT what I had !!
Endo clears 5 consecutive choices !
"Bon Curry - Mild"
This is NOT what I had !
"Digi-Mon Adventure Curry - Mild"
"Beef Curry" is NOT what I tried !
Despite his sluggish start,
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
he's managed to clear 5 different curries
"Oufu Beef Curry"
He already had curry for lunch,
"Our House Curry"
but he's making this round of "Kiki" look easy
Assigned Curry
"Good Old Time Curry"
Did it have a distinct flavor ?
What's going on with him ?
I thought you two were Manzai buddies
He's focused right now
He needs us to shut the hell up
Why don't you just try them all ?
Currently tasting
"Convincing Beef Curry"
This one is close...
Here he goes
He's serious ?
What I tried today
is this "Convincing Beef Curry" !!
This is way too difficult
Apologize to the Curry !!
What did she say ?
Well, there was "curry" in there somewhere but,
"Apologize to the Curry" ??
Well, you tried your best
Matsumoto, how about it ?
What a tough game this was
Will you hold on and listen ?
I've done this before, and I should know what to expect but,
I'm pretty sure a man is ready to slap me, right ?
And it won't be pretty
Can I say I've never had "Mild" curry before ?
So this could be a troublesome
So a curry like "Bon-Curry - Mild" could be disastrous
Shut up and put the eye mask on
You're not getting that now
Matsumoto prefers Hot curry and claims to have never tried Mild,
Assigned Curry for Matsumoto
Digi-Mon Adventure Curry - Mild
So here's "Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild"
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
How annoying is he ?
Why're you sucking air with it ?
Why ?
He's taking in the aroma
You got it ?
I have the flavor burned into my memory
How do you like me picking this one as my choice ?
Currently Tasting
Good Old Time Curry
Nobody's saying anything
We just completely ignored you
This one is way different
What I had is
NOT the "Good Old Time Curry" !!
Of course, it isn't
You knew that one
Next you've picked "Our House Curry"
Currently Tasting
Our House Curry - Medium
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
Now that this is my second attempt...
How do you expect me to remember what the first one tasted like ?
But this is only your second try
I think the one I tasted was more plain
I did NOT have "Our House Curry" !!
Let me try this one
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
Currently Tasting
Is this Curry ?
This one's really similar to the previous one
I think there were more potatoes in mine
In your curry ?
They were more or less mushy though
I doubt this is it
I did NOT have "Is this Curry ?" !!
I think this "Makanai Curry" is really suspicious
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
Really suspicious !
Currently Tasting
Makanai Curry
I take it back...
So many flavors...
I did NOT have "Makanai Curry" !!
You're on fire
Matsumoto shifts to high gear and clears 8 consecutive curries !
Risking his life, his "KiKi" Curry continues !
Why can't I pick the winner already ?
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
Currently Tasting
Convincing Curry - Medium
I don't think this one is it
No, this isn't it
This isn't it
I did NOT have "Convincing Curry"
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
You must be close !
You only have seven left
I'm trying this "Digi-Mon Curry"
Currently Tasting
Digi-Mon Adventure - Mild
This one's a bit suspicious
I can feel it
What's with the potatoes....?
The potato flavor is wanting some attention...
I don't recall potatoes demanding this much attention from me
What an idiot
I did NOT have "Digi-Mon Adventure Curry"
Go to the front
You're Curry-tone-deaf !
What do you want ?
He shook my brain
Yamasaki boasts about his tasting ability,
Assigned Curry for Yamasaki
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
Can he identify "Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry" ?
Assigned Curry
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
Well, may I say...
Are you OK ?
That's nonsense
What ?
You already lost us when you purposely wore the eye-mask upside down
Is this one of those...
difficult ones ??
What the hell are you talking about ?
I don't get you
Assigned Curry
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
Of course, it's difficult
Considering no one has gotten it right so far
Currently Tasting
Sir Prince Curry
You got that one
Not this one
None at all
This isn't it !
What the...
Don't you remember the rules ?
How many times have you done this ?
I did NOT have "Sir Prince Curry" !!
You need to use a better strategy
Assigned Curry
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
After you try too many, you forget the flavor
Shut your mouth, I know !!
Pick one already
Oh, I'm in trouble
Currently Tasting
Kukure Curry - Hot
Remember the bitch slap
I don't think this is it
But the flavor is very similar
I chose this "Kukure..."
What do you mean, "I chose" ??
I chose that it wasn't the right one
You're supposed to say "I did NOT have..."
Of course, you chose this one
I did NOT have "Kukure Curry - Hot" !!
I did NOT have "Kukure Curry - Mild" !!
Despite his usual antics,
he battled through 4 more curries !
Let's try this "LEE Curry"
Assigned Curry
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
You're going with "LEE"
Don't pick the box up !!
Currently Tasting
Lee - Hot x20
Will you get the procedure right, already ?
Can't he remember to taste the dish first ?
This is so far from...
Hot !
Spicy
Which is it, moron ?!
This one's spicy
There's no way it's hot
This one's spicy
I did NOT have "LEE Spice x20"
How spicy is that ?
He said, "Hot ! No Wait, it's spicy !"
It couldn't be hot; they've been out here the whole time
Assigned Curry
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
Currently Tasting
Hotel New Ohtani Beef Curry
I did NOT have "Beef Curry" !!
Even the Indians are stunned !!
He got knocked out
Are you OK ?
Nobody deserves to get hit for choosing the wrong curry
Are you OK ?
That's out of control
We feel for you
We feel for you but,
no need to cry out like this
Assigned Curry for Tanaka
Shiseido Parlor Beef Curry
The group chooses "Shiseido Parlor Beef Curry" for Tanaka
This has such a distinct flavor
Assigned Curry
Shiseido Parlor Beef Curry
This isn't your usual instant curry
I'm going for "Rou Matsumoto Curry"
Currently Tasting
Rou Matsumoto Curry
No, this isn't it
Where are you going with that plate ?
You aren't getting it either
After seeing that bitch slap,
my mind is way too occupied
I did NOT have "Rou Matsumoto Curry" !!
I did NOT have "Oriental Curry"
Tanaka makes it through 2 more curries
And he's about to keep his winning streak alive !?
Assigned Curry
Shiseido Parlor Beef Curry
This is only your third one
Could this be it ??
I remember the flavor was rich and robust...
It had an adult taste
Currently Tasting
Shiseido Parlor Beef Curry
Here's "Shiseido..."
This one looks like it's targeted for adults...
And I'm going for it
I just saw him formally greet the curry
Like, "Nice to meet you"
That's really close, damn it
The flavor didn't come through like the one I tried
"The flavor didn't come through" ??
I did NOT have "Shiseido Parlor Beef Curry"
You even pissed off Sathya Sai Baba !!
At least my brain didn't shake !
Nobody has been successful so far
Assigned Curry for Hamada
Digi-Mon Adventure Curry - Mild
Hamada, the last contender,receives the the "Digi-Mon Adventure Curry - Mild" challenge
Get closer or you won't smell anything
Even closer ?
Yes, much closer
Assigned Curry
Digi-Mon Adventure Curry - Mild
A little closer
You're kidding right ?
I'm serious
The spoon is so far from your nose
Are you serious ?
You had it near your forehead
I'm trying "Hakodate Curry"
Currently Tasting
Hakodate Curry
Could this be it ?
Are they close ?
Similar flavors ?
What I had today is "Hakodate Curry" !!!!
Here he comes !
How dare you market the "Curry Senbei Cracker" !?
You were right
What's wrong ?
My brain's swaying
Machan Baby
Music/Lyrics: Hitoshi Matsumoto
Chorus: Hasatoshi Hamada
Translation by Shibatabread www.shibatabread.com
So are we ready ?
Well, before we begin
How's everyone doing ?
I'm ready to do this
Well, hear me out
I've still got a headache
You need to know that today,
we got bitch slapped by some Indians
We were really stunned, huh ?
Yamasaki started crying for real
He really did
And he's like a 32 or 33 year old man
He got hit like this and literally flew into the table
I have a question for Matsumoto-san
since you're a licensed international aviation pilot
How do pilots kill time when the plane is in auto-pilot ?
First of all,
you're all aware of how much training it takes to get licensed, right ?
Then let me educate you about the classes we take
Well...
We don't really learn how to fly
How do you know what to do if you never learn how ??
It only takes pushing a couple of buttons to fly
But what's more important
than learning how to fly
is giving passengers a sense of security
"Yes, I have full faith in this pilot !"
You're talking about the passengers ?
Yes, you need to be confident for the passengers
I see
Yes ?
At the beginning, I might be little tense but
you go ahead and start to prepare like this
What're you doing ?
I'm getting ready
And the pilot pulls the throttle like this
and the plane takes off like this
That was quick
Well, I'm giving you the abridged version here
Then you start making connections like this
What's that ?
I'm connecting extension cords
Extension cords ?
You don't know anything about it, so shut up !
You connect these
And over here, you disconnect
And what are those ?
Why are you connecting and disconnecting ??
You can't be connecting all the time !!
But why disconnect when you're about to take off ?
OK, so once you're off
The pilot brings the throttle back like this
Good so far ?
Got it
And that's it, I don't have much left to do
So this begs the question, "What now ?"
Especially on an international flight taking up to 20 hours
What does a pilot do ??
Please educate them
What do they do now ?
I've actually stood in the cockpit to see what's going on
Really ?
I'm not kidding
First of all, they turn their caps backwards like this
What is this, an arm wrestling match ?
Wouldn't they just put it aside ?
And they loosen their ties and relax
Followed by unbuttoning these
Is that necessary ?
Why unbutton them ?
Well, it's one of their rules
Then they put them together and put them on a shelf
There's a little shelf inside the cockpit ?
I'm willing to share things you may not know about
Thanks
OK, so what's after that ?
Excuse me ?
What does the pilot do next ?
First, you need to keep in mind the amount of pressure they have
Yes, until the point they're in the air
Right, a few hundred passengers' lives are in their hands
Now, think about how much relief they feel after a successful take off
It's a big relief
That's why they turn their caps backwards and unbutton these things here
Then they take off their coat
I thought, "Why unbutton these things then ?"
I didn't say it because the pilot gave me a dirty look
Anyway, he hangs his coat
And takes this off
Then he takes his shirt off
But why ?
He wants to decompress
And then he just takes it all off
What the hell is that ?
Why are you taking off a bra ?
It's not a bra
This is a pilot's belt
It looks like a bra but...
It's not good if it looks like a bra...
It shouldn't resemble a bra
He takes it off...
Folds the two cups over and wraps it up like so
And then...this happens
What the hell are you doing ?
He puts his foot on the control panel like this...
You're an idiot
What kind of underwear is this ?
Snaps these off like this
Roll it, roll it, roll it, and roll it
He now has two rings
Another shelf, huh ?
The bra doesn't get a shelf ?
Anyway, that takes about an hour
To be comfortable
The rest is like this...
What the hell...?
What're you doing ?
You're cleansing your pores ?
Of course, I'm cleansing
So, you're getting ready to sleep ?
Well, the pilot needs to look comfortable to the passengers so...
But why're you getting ready for sleep ?
One of the attendants knocks on the door at this moment
"Pilot"
Who, the Pilot ?
"Pilot, it's almost time !"
You hear ?
What do you mean by that ?
And he goes, "Alright"
Then what ?
Listen
Didn't you JUST get comfortable ?
Why bother getting undressed ?
Couldn't you have just stayed dressed ?
Cut it out !
Don't forget your cap
Right, turn it forward
And connect one here
This is for the seatbelt
And disconnect here
Finally push the throttle forward like so
And that's it
That's the pilot's duty
Didn't you say the flight is like 20 hours ?
Well...
10 hours from take off and 10 hours to landing
Show me the first 10 hours then
Well, so you finish cleaning up
The you sit down and have a Salem Light Cigarette
And you tearfully smoke
Why're you crying ?
Why the tears ??
Why're you crying ??
There's no need to cry
He's taking in all the beautiful scenery
But this isn't his first time seeing this, right ?
This isn't his first time flying, right ?
You know, I'm summarizing because I only have 30 minutes to work with
In reality, the pilot would be like this
Even then, it shouldn't take 10 hours
But the pilot is like this...
Why bother if you're in pain
How can the pilot fly if he can't even undo a button ?
So you're doing this and...
there's tears coming down...
And a cat jumps on your lap
The cat is like, "You're the only one."
Huh ?
"You're the only one I can trust"
Who's that supposed to be ?
What's that now ?
You're the only one I can trust
What the hell are you doing ?!
A sleeping passenger wakes up and says, "What was that ?"
"What's up with the pilot ?"
"You can trust me as your pilot"
Shut the hell up